Community Agreements

Honestly examining our inner workings is pretty vulnerable stuff!
In order to facilitate optimal conditions for this growth and learning, we strive to maintain a space in which it is safe to explore and tell the truth.

Community Agreements serve as a way to guide words and deeds to ensure we are all respected and protected.

We are fully committed to each other's well being.

This is the simple, straightforward focal point of the School. We're here for ourselves and we're here for each other because we are all worth knowing and cheering on.

We know there are many ways to the mountain top.

When you are fully committed to someone else's well being, you don't care how they achieve their peace. School of Self-Study is not dogmatic or zealous. We do not require fidelity to a specific teaching or system, instead aiming to support one another in understanding and aligning ourselves with what is best for us, moment to moment. 

We are emphatically anti-racist, feminist, and ferociously loving of all kinds of bodies, beings and expressions.

There is absolutely no room at School of Self-Study for the degradation of other human beings. 

We stand with people of color, trans and non-binary folx, queer babes, with sex workers, with every body of every shape and any ability, with anyone fighting for liberation under oppression.

If your belief system at all emphasizes subjugating or invalidating the life of another human being because of their perceived difference, rethink your alignment with that group. 

There is room here for softening, for curiosity and respectful inquiry. It’s ok to be confused or to not know and to want to know more. If you can open your heart and mind to an expanded understanding of other people’s experiences and realities, you are welcome.

If your perspective is solid and fixed, this is not the place for you.

We keep an eye on our privilege, biases and lenses.

Our experiences color our world view so that what we see is subjective. For example, what may be a safe travel destination for you would be experienced very differently by a different body. We keep this in mind as we interact with one another. We've all had different challenges because of where and when we were born, how we look and are perceived. None of us are supreme, or in possession of universal understanding. We humble ourselves before the truth that we don't know everything. We keep our eyes and hearts open to other perspectives.

We do not accept abuse, but we do understand that sometimes we'll be disappointed.

Humans are highly fallible and sometimes deeply disappointing. All of us. We all have blindspots and underdeveloped skills. It’s one of the most natural parts of who/how we are. No one is expected to be perfect. This is impossible.

In order to encourage learning and deepening of wisdom, there must be room in a culture for people to fail, because failure is a natural part of growth. You cannot have one without the other.

Holding space for the foibles and failures of others means holding gentle space within ourselves for the discomfort of our own disappointment when someone lets us down. This doesn’t mean that we sustain abuse. If someone repeatedly does harm and cannot apologize with changed behavior, we don’t owe them continued support. They may still need support, and it doesn’t have to come from us.

When we cause harm, we respectfully seek repair.

We are responsible for the ways in which we have to grow. We can (and should!) employ experts and other help in that effort. We heal most efficiently in loving relationship. And! We are ultimately in charge of the project that is our own healing and development. No one else is responsible for or able to do this work for us.

We are responsible for our impact at every point in our process. We aim to do no harm, and if we falter in this, we are responsible for repair. Learning to hold accountability is, in and of itself, an important aspect of deepening wisdom.

We hold space for complexity and nuance.

Holding each other in our goodness and in our growth is a generous act of care. It is possible both to celebrate our places of excellence and encourage each other to engage with our learning and development. Our goodness is not negated by our need for growth. Both can exist as true at the same time. Humans are complex and multitudinous.

Evolution is a natural part of life. Even if someone has behaved one way for a long time, it is possible that they are also learning, growing and healing. Try to entertain the prospect that they’ve gained in wisdom, too. Look for signs of fresh life within them.

We communicate to create a better tomorrow.

  • We keep respect and care at the heart of every communication.

  • We speak only for ourselves and from our own experience.

  • We do not gossip.

  • We default to providing empathy to others unless they specifically ask for solutions.

  • We keep School discussions designated to the community, and do not tell anyone else’s story or share their information.

We are curious, generous and courageous.

It is hard to make mistakes. It is hard to be let down. If it feels challenging to be gracious about this, that’s because holding our own accountability and holding others accountable is pretty heroic work. We try to be easy and gentle with ourselves. We’re all doing our best.